MR. MOOHLER, YOU CAN CALL ME MISS M

[Source: a friend who has a brother-in-law whose niece works in the Special Counsel’s Office.]

“Mueller here. Who’s calling, please?”
“They did not tell you?”
“Yes, but if you would please self-identify.”
“You know already, from my phone and my accent, no?”
“Pretty much. How can I help you, ma’am?
“I like you already. No names. You can call me Miss M.”
“Alright. Go ahead, Miss M.”
“I want to meet with you, sir. You alone. I am much angry, have things to say. But I know people listen in on my phone– I think yours, too.
“Yes, ma’am, I understand.”
“In my country, the men misbehave, too. But they never embarrass their families. I can tell you about the obstacle to justice.
“I think you mean obstruction of justice?”
“Yes. That. Thank you, sir. I am told many things on the pillow. My information also about washing large money . . . yes? How you say it?”
“Yes, ma’am. We call it money laundering. It means to illegally move money around so it can’t be traced and ends up in seemingly legal accounts and uses. Miss M, I can suggest two places we could meet, invisible and totally secure.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, Miss M. The parking garage of the Washington Post and the underground parking garage of the Watergate Complex.”
“Why there?”
“Well, ma’am, after the Watergate scandals, and 9/11, those two locations are some of the most secure in the city. Since they are underground, electronic eavesdropping is difficult.”
“Sir, It must be this weekend. My husband is in Switzerland. I will have my Secret Service take me to the shopping mall at the Watergate. I will be in the back of the store called Star Nails. I am friends with the owner. She call me ‘Hooneeey.’”
“Miss M, we can offer you protection in case the Secret Service poses a problem. They are under the jurisdiction of the Chief Executive.”
“Thank you, sir. But I do not need protection. I have papers and discs. I made the notary statements. They remain with special law firm. My lawyer last name begin with letter A, hard to pronounce, but sound like fast car. Anything happen to me or my Barron, even accident, it all become public.”
“Ma’am I appreciate your offer of assistance. But, if I may ask, what would you like to see happen and how can I help?”
“This country has been most wonderful to me. My husband, he turn it into Balkans. I know Balkans. They always fight one against the other. All the time.
“I am done. . . Stormy Daniels . . . what a name. She broke camel’s back.”

###

 

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My romance-noir, writing as Ben Leiter. Available on Amazon/Kindle. Explains Baby Boomer romantic aberrations.

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